Saturday, May 02, 2009
Either Step A or B. Since it's just a matter of time, I decided to take the chance. Hence activated next step.
It happened suddenly. No pre-warnings or any signals. Very trama-drama kind of situation. No one else was there and was caught in the middle of no where. was on the phone in the midst of the 'volcano' without knowing how danger it was till 'they' came in. Ended the call; communicated through the barriers and when they came in, I didn't expect it to be that serious. Between them, just 5cm away from that
'it', hearing and witnessing everything. I wish I could run to else where but it was too small an area for me to even hide. I saw the expressions of their faces; I heard the loud sounds and yes I saw what they did. As much as I wish not to, i knew they had to. I stood there silently feeling broken within. My mind went blank once again.
Soon the others joined in. Subsequently I saw more and more unfamiliar faces. I got called by someone and stood there since then. Some times I would heard voices but no clue to what's going on inside. Then I knew some of them were about to head back. I refused to even take a peek and held my breath for secs. Words can't explain how broken I was at that moment yet I got to act up a strong front. Waited and here came they.. he told me something and that shocked me for a while. I asked is the ball on my court. But apparently even if it is, it won't be of much help.
They all left, I was left alone. Can't help but to reproached myself a little. If time were to turn back, would I still do the same? Do I have a choice? Doing
this is 'worng', doing
that is also 'wrong'. I wondered just what should be the way. I didn't know it would be this serious, honestly. Everyone who knew said it wasn't my fault. What's done had been done. I know I will never have a win-win situation
Thank goodness
ding searched the numbers for me.. no com with me, I did felt handicap. I didn't know work was still in progress. I thought I need not go there but late at night;
OI called me through his hp. Went over feeling pretty terrified. Had a short talk and he needed to rush off. Thankfully I did not faint or did wobby legs give ways. I made my way back safely and still had a lil energy to get myself a 'brunch cum dinner' small meal at the wee hours. I thought I could have a short nap... there goes the phone ringing at 0854 and then all the way till evening..
Now is Saturday. That scene still lingers inside my mind. Like MDC is filming a show in front of me. Hey wait! This time, is real. Real person, real
it.. it aren't a dream. Real Life, dear angela..
an-gel wished upon the stars at 12:18 AM
