Sunday, August 17, 2008
finally settled down @ Pacific Cafe Vivoguess I will stop calling/sms-ing. It would be good enough be alone for a while though I know it would be better if there's somebody(s)I think my contenance says it all - I am worn out totally this round. Can try asking, someone did, but I just don't know what to say. I can try to tell a rough story still it doesn't reflect the impact or able to express anything. Believed its not that I want to, there's seems to be a 'blockage' between (if u kne wat i mean)since some incident, I rarely talk much. Hasn't been well inside for the past 3 months, especially the past 3 days. Left office on Thursday at 9... which mean I was there for 12 hours. Hardly could sleep these days. My mind just went blank. Talks in the morning, talks after lunch. It's more draining than the usual working hours. No one I could go or reveal much about what had happened. Saturday after report, going over to New Bridge to look for [panda] was the only thing I could do. Shocked, stun... speechless was [panda] expression when I hand the copied report. what could we do, we asked ourselves. Nothing. Our greatest wish is that I am able to get out of this mess. Walked down the streets of singapore, stroll down orchard road... I can only say, unfamiliar surroundings. I know why I was terrified on Thursday night though [k] don't but I can't explain clearly why. Incidents can never be compared but the impact is almost the same, this I can't agree more with [k]..quiet nights. Listening to the most inner heartbeat. I know what state I'm at. I know how big/small the impact is but never know how to surface them out. Some say it's good to talk things out, some professionals beg a diff. So is this doing me good? Some say it's a sign of maturing. I hope so.what I once knew now I don't. what I once had it's nothing. Strong, move on was what said to me. Oh well, if I am able to be clear tomorrow and return back, that would really be great... if not, I really wish to take a break and leave this place temporary... It's always good to be Home - place of security, familiarity, warm, love... These I really missed. what can I say.. set my feets in your ways. Entering your presence just to behold you face to face. Unfailing love that has surround me all these while, amazed. Love of my life -selah- Set my eyes on you, ran this race for quite a while. I'm amazed how you brought me this far. I just... wish to be by your side at this very minute... take me away with you - my desireselfish/cold perhaps I have been towards some. Unintentional. Not that it doesn't matter to me, just that... o self-center, perhaps. Not able to put myself into others shoes, never thought of hurting anyone nor do I have such ability now. I felt so tired just to type this blog... bring me to some place where I can be just me. a place where can be understood. where my thoughts and principles can be generate well and that my kind intention/principles I held won't be treated like dust. I don't wanna lose myself because of this... let what you have planted in my heart remains for good. I just want to be by your side
an-gel wished upon the stars at 5:28 PM
